Hustler Girl's Blog

On February 1st I was a guest on the popular SABC 3 talk show 3 Talk with Noeleen .  The topic of the show was the SA Adult Entertainment Scene.  The topic of the show came about as there was a lot of controversy surrounding the application for 3 Adult Channels to be launched on the pay channel Top TV. Just a few days before the show, ICASA rejected TopTV’s application. The producers of 3 Talk with Noeleen wanted to find out if there is a market for Adult Entertainment in South Africa and what the view was regarding Adult Entertainment including pornography.

I was very excited to be going on to TV yet also a little nervous. The topic of Adult Entertainment is a controversial one and I was not sure what the show would revolve around or who the other guests would be.  Being live television there is no room for error or retakes. What you say is what will be aired to the nation. I have been on a TV show previously – Sex Talk with Aubrey on Soweto TV – but it was pr-recorded and there was always comfort in knowing that if I made a mistake we could always do a retake. I did not know exactly what questions would be asked  on 3 Talk with Noeleen and so I decided to just answer any questions as slowly and calmly as possible  and keep them short and sweet so as not to fumble over words and then make a complete fool of myself.

I arrived at Urban Brew Studios in Randburg and went straight to make-up where the make-up artist really worked some magic and made me TV ready. I managed to chat a bit to some of the other guests before we made our way to the set.

It is quite a different experience being on set and seeing how a live television show comes together. For one, the set is a lot smaller in real life. Everything happens very quickly but it is all very organized and coordinated.  Guests are moved on and off set in a matter of seconds.

I had no idea where to look during the show and when watching the show with friends a few days later we were having a good laugh at how I looked like I was watching a ping pong match moving my head from side to side while watching the other guests as they spoke to Noeleen.

All in all it was a good experience and I was happy with the few things I did get to say. There is so much to say but when you are in the moment you never remember all the things you would like to say.  I guess I should just blog more!

The guests on the show were

A stripper /porn star / working girl from the Lollipop Lounge

An ex Stripper / Porn Star – Titanic who appeared in SA’s first black porn movie Mapona Vol 1

Gigi – the co-owner of the Lollipop Lounge

Prof Elna McIntosh – Clinical Sexologist

Liane Lurie – Clinical Psychologist

Clive Human – Director of STOP (Standing Together Opposing Pornography)

Pearl Kupe – Family Life Institute Rep

Wow I cant believe how quickly this year has gone. We are just a few weeks away from Christmas!

The shop has been quiet this year and I am trying my best to be positive and hope that things will be okay. No one said having your own business was without stress and worry but boy this has been a tough year. The shop is my only source of income and the turnover has dropped significantly, so much so that I havent been able to pay myself properly in the last few months. All very stressful especially when there are bills to pay.  It is not  a nice place to be. I’m trying my best to stay positive and say that things will be better soon.

It seems I’m not the only person in the adult industry complaining, other stores sales are down and even suppliers seem to be feeling the pinch. Not only the adult industry but many other industries are experiencing the same pattern. And knowing that another recession is imminent is not comforting either.

The shop is looking well stocked and ready for the Christmas season, but will people be spending money on items which are “luxury items” or ”nice to haves” ?

In the months that have passed I have also completed 3 more exams towards my BA Social Work Degree, I am waiting for results to come out early December.  I thought I would have completed my first year this year, however I did not know about 2 more subjects that were added to the first year curriculum so next semester I will be taking both first and second year subjects.  I know the studying is going to be a long haul but I cant wait to have a Degree and be able to make a difference.

Some exciting things for me to look forward to in the next few weeks:

• I am one of the guest speakers at a CtrlAltSex Fundraiser – Head on Head – where I will be talking about the health of masculinity. All proceeds will be donated to the Movember South Africa Initiative – raising awareness for depression, and prostate and testicular cancer.
• I will be attending a 2 day sexuality course facilitated by Professor Elna McIntosh. This will benefit me greatly both in my interaction with my customers as well as towards my studies.
• And the most exciting of all…..my sister and 3 year old niece Mia are spoiling me and taking me away to Cape Town for 5 days for some much needed R & R – a holiday I really need and could never afford to go on. I cant wait to put my feet in the beach sand, something so grounding about that, along with the waves and the mountain

Many people take things (health, family, friends, lovers, financial stability) for granted. It is sometimes frustrating for me to watch how some poeple do not appreciate what they have or feel unsatisfied with what they have, perhaps I am more aware because of the situation I find myself in. An important lesson which I try to remember is to focus on the things I do have rather then the things I do not have.

Some days are easier then others but the important thing is I am still here!

This whole year I have been continuously sick and just as I start to feel better I get sick again. I have had bronchitis twice and developed a bad case of asthma.  Enter cortisone  I have been very down, depressed even, and have felt like everything is just such an effort (sigh!) . I don’t sleep properly which results in me waking up feeling totally exhausted.

I decided that I really needed to start looking after myself and worrying about me for a while. I decided to go for a vitality check up just to see where I was healthwise. Well I did get a shock when I was told my cholesterol is now sitting on 8.2. I am heart attack waiting to happen. My high cholesterol is hereditory though and I have known it is high and have avoided doing anything about it which is not very good. So off I went to My GP for some blood tests to see what my accurate  HDL and LDL levels are. I also had some other tests done to rule out a few things which may be causing me to feel the way I am feeling. So now I am on cholesterol lowering meds, more than likely indefinately.

My older sister has gone the healthy route and believes in using herbs to heal the body. She always sends me healthy recipes and information on the latest herbal things she is taking.

I came accross a group buying voucher for an iridology and sclerology consultation. I have always wanted to go for one and I decided I would give it a go. A small world indeed when I discovered the iridologist and sclerologist offering the consultation is someone I met through twitter ( never underestimate the power of social media) so I thought why not.

I arrived at my appointment with Rory Jean Jacques - SA’s Nature Doctor and I was quite intrigued as to what he would discover. Rory used a special magnifying glass to have a look at the iris of my eye as well as the sclera ( the white part) . He marked on a piece of paper all the areas of concern. The paper had the right and left eye printed on it which had the different areas that corresponded to the body mapped out on the eyes.

A few things were picked up during the consultation but one of the major things was that I had adrenal fatigue. Well this was fantastic news as it  explained why I was experiencing the symptoms that I had been complaining about. To put it simply I have burn out!

Rory mixed different herbs together which  I would need to take with a 1/4 glass of water every morning and evening until the bottle is done. The mix doesnt have the best taste but whatever is going to help me I will take. I have also started watching what I eat and going to gym more regularly. I am already feeling alot better then I was but think it will still take a while until I feel 100%.

I will be going to see Rory again once my herbal mixture is finished and then Im going do a live and dry blood analysis.

If you would like to have a consultation you can contact Rory here

I went to collect my post the other day from my PO Box, something I do once a week. There was post from UNISA, my Tutorial Letter for my Comparative Religious Studies Subject. I opened the Tutorial Letter expecting to find feedback on the assigments for the year, which there was, but as I read further I saw a little section called “The Exam”. I  thought it was already feedback from the exam but I soon realised it was actually hints and tips for the exam! Yip there it was…. they actually gave the structure of the exam, that there would be 5 questions and we would only need to answer 4. Some of the questions were divided into subesctions. They indicated which sections you would need to focus on depending on which questions you chose to answer and the final question of the exam which was definitions they actually gave the list of 10 words of which only 5 would need to be defined with examples.

Wow this would have been freakin fantastic had I received this information before my exam! I noted the date stamp on the post which was the first week in May, my exam was on 1st June and I received the post this week! I even checked the Unisa Website before my exam to see if there was any extra information or Tutorial Letters and there was noithing. All the other tutorial letters were there but not this one. I think I am actually going to send through an email to complain. I know there is nothing Unisa can do about our shoddy postal system and late post but surely the tutorial letter should have been posted on the website?  

I am really annoyed about this as I couldn’t believe how much work there was to go through (ok I did leave it a bit late) and was even more frustrated when I arrived at the exam and the examiners only asked us 4 questions!

I will receive my results in July. Lets see how I faired without the information!

Yesterday I decided to use a voucher I purchased through the group buying website wicount for Puri Thai  in Parkhurst. I bought this voucher a few weeks ago as the deal was a very good one. The deal was that I pay R140 for a 1 hour Traditional Thai massage worth R300. I havent spoilt myself in a long time as finances dont allow for such luxuries but when I saw the deal I thought it was worth it and that I totally deserved it after the terrible two months I have had.

I called Puri Thai in the morning to make the appointment for later in the day and was happy that they did have space available. The receptionist asked if I prefereed a male or femal therapist. I wanted to go so badly that I didnt even give a second thought as to who I would prefer as my therapist and so I said either would do.  I must admit that when I put the phone down I did then start to think about having the treatment perfomed by a male therapist but didnt worry about it too much as a trained therapist is all that is required and I’m sure I’m not the first female to go there and be treated by the male therapist.

I have never had a thai massage and so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I arrived at Puri Thai and was immediately greeted with big smiles and made to feel welcome.  I did end up havng a male therapsit named Mark (i’m sure this is his western name ). He was so sweet and soft spoken. He took off my shoes and socks and started off by washing my feet. He then led me to the communal massage area, each massage bed seperated by long flowing curtains. The massage bed is actually a mattress on the floor. The area was so warm from the central heating and the massage bed had an electric blanket. The warmth combined with relaxing music and the light purple colour scheme immediately had a calming effect on me. There was absolute silence and I would never have known that there were other treatments going on around me.

Mark brought my my massage outfit for me to change in to. It was a white cotton shirt and pants. I liked the idea that I would be wearing something as I always feel vulnerable when going for a massage.

The treatment lasted for an hour and consisted of  Mark using pressure from his fingers, palms, elbows, knees and feet to stretch my muscles. Accoridng to the description on the price list this stimulates the body’s 10 energy lines, known as sen sib, which opens the flow of energy throughout the body. I had complained of a sore knee area and stiff neck and so Mark applied the Puri Balm which helps to balance the body’s energy while strengthening natural powers of healing. The balm smells like tiger balm and did take me back to my Doors Nightclub days 

In the hour I was there I switched off from reality and just enjoyed the experience. I felt so relaxed and was transported to my happy place.

After the treatment I was given a hot cut of tea which went down really well.

I enjoyed my thai massage experience which was a completely new experience for me. I didnt know what to expect and was pleasantly surprised. I would love to be able to go back there one day.

So the world was supposed to end on Saturday, apparently it didn’t! We are still here to live another day.

I must say the last couple of weeks have felt like they were leading up to the end of the world, or at least my little world. Things seem to be changing both in my life and the world around me. 

Business has been very quiet the last two months, and I just can’t believe how retail has dipped so drastically. It is almost as if the recession is hitting everyone now. I don’t know whether to put the dip in sales down to the fact that I have removed certain stock items from my store or whether the long weekends and leave people took in April had an effect on their spending power and that people just don’t have the spare money for luxury items. To say I am stressed out is an understatement. There are 7 days left of the month and I am not even close to the target I need to reach. I am riding on faith and hope at the moment that things will turn around and by some miracle the shop will reach its sales target and all will be ok. 

I find it very financially stressful at times but this is it for me for now,  the shop is my only source of income and I have to manage my finances very carefully in order to survive. How do other people do it? Boy wouldn’t it be nice to have some help, have someone take over the responsibility for a while….

I have an exam next week for one of my subjects which is Religions of the World. I did leave studying a bit late and have had to learn about all the major religions of the world in a very short space of time. I have found the subject matter to be extremely interesting and wish I would have taken the extra time to spend on each religion going through them properly. I have less than a week to finish making my study notes and then actually go through everything and study.  The other three subjects I have taken for the year I havent even touched. Talk about bad time management. I will have to get onto those as soon as I am done with my exam next week. The exams for thse subjects will only be at the end of the year but I have the second assignments to complete.

I am having a change of staff again. Seems three months is the popular departure time. The weekends guy got a permanent job position in Cape Town so he is off after the first weekend in June. The guy who works my week night and Saturday morning shifts is more than likely leaving at the end of June to go get experiential learning for his chosen profession of Journalism. Oh lucky me to have everything going on all at once. So I am going to be holding interviews again and lets see what comes my way.  My wish is for someone to stay longer than 3 months!

So I am feeling a bit down at the moment, just need to regroup, assess the good things in my life and the focus on the positives rather than the negatives and sure I will be right as rain in a few days… I sure hope so.

My lightbox was hit by a massive blue 10 ton delivery truck belonging to the hardware store across the road. They have a building supplies yard across the road from my store. They park their truck on our pavement all day long which blocks my store and 2 other store fronts and often block our parking lot exit and cause traffic jams while they reverse in and out all day. This is not the first time they have hit my lightbox, the day that it was installed they reversed their truck straight into the lightbox. I was lucky enough that the person that installed the sign was still here and repaired it immediately. 

I have requested on numerous occasions that they refrain from parking their truck on the pavement, only to fall on deaf ears.

When I noticed my sign had been hit I immediately went across the road to notify the owner of the hardware store that the sign had been hit and that I would hold them liable to have it fixed. I spoke to the owners son and asked him to pass on the message to his father. Yesterday I went back to the store and handed them the quote I received from my signage guy to have the sign repaired. The owner immediately told me that he would not be paying for any repair as I could not prove that it was his truck that hit the sign. His stupid wife then pipes up that I need to prove that it was their truck that hit the sign as it could be any truck for example a garbage removal truck.  I pointed out to them that their truck is the only blue 10 ton truck that is parked on the pavement the entire day and the sign has blue paint underneath it from where it was hit. The owner then says his truck fits under my sign and couldnt possibly hit my sign. What an idiot, I told him the cabby and 2 rods that stick up infront of the truck bed can easily reach my sign. I also mentioned the blue paint on the underside of the sign again.

By now I was causing a scene in the hardware store so the owner said he would come inspect the sign himself. He took a look at my sign and told me it is fine and doesn’t need any repairing.  The whole sign is skew and hanging on by two metal strips. I told him that I have been advised to have it repaired as it will come off  and in that case I would hold him responsible for the replacement of the whole sign which is over 15k. When I showed him the blue paint he said the blue paint on the underside of the sign is light blue and his truck is dark blue. Seriously???? What a prick!He refused to pay my guy to fix the sign as he said why must he pay to have the sign welded on properly if it wasn’t done properly the first time around. I told him that it would still be fine had his 10 ton truck not rammed into it. He walked away from me, at this point I said it was fine as I would then go to the police station and they could make the decision which is when he turned around and told me he would get his own guy to weld the sign back on and nothing more.

I typed up a letter stating that he had refused the quote from the preferred supplier and that by using his own welder he agrees to take full responsibility should any further damage occur.

I then decided to contact the JPMD to come and witness his truck all over the show, typically when they got here the truck had been moved. I told them that the truck is parked on the pavement all day every day and not only blocks the shopfronts but causes a traffic hazzard as people coming out of our shopping centre can not see the road clearly, nevermind when they block the entire road when they drive in and out of the yard and then ramp the pavement.

I took the letter to the owner and he signed it and then he confronted me on the fact that I had called the JMPD and he told me that he had just told them he never parks on the pavement for longer then 15 minutes as he only uses the pavement when a customer of his is in the yard. What a fat liar. I told him that if necessary I would get an affidavit from every shop owner in the vicinity to state that his truck is parked there all day long. He told me he has been here for 10 years, I think he thinks this gives him some sort of authority which it doesn’t. Perhaps I should have offered him a medal.   

On a related matter the streetlights haven’t been working including my lightbox and today I was informed by the landlord that is is more than likely because of the sign being hit and water now causing the lights to be faulty. I now have the pleasure of having to inform the owner of the hardware store that he also needs to have this fixed. Can you imagine what his response will be. I am still waiting for him to come and see me as he wasn’t there when I went across earlier, I am sure he wont come.

So this whole episode has caused such unecessary agrevation.

Owners of  Magnificent Paint and Hardware I have news for you, you are far from Magnificent!

***Update***

I was advised by my attorney to inform the owner of the hardware store that he can’t just use anyone to fix the lightbox as it has to be repaired properly to the same condition it was before getting hit. I went over to the owner of the hardware store this morning to tell him not to touch the sign until he hears from my attorney where she will provide him with 3 competitive quotes from reputable companies. He informed me that he had a company over this morning to quote him and they would be here on Tuesday to repair the sign. He was more courteous today and said he would have the sign fixed properly. I told him that the most frustrating thing for me was that he couldn’t just admit that it was his truck that caused the damage instead of his wife’s suggestion that it could have been a garbage removal truck and then she pipes up from behind the counter saying she never said that. WTF? I know what she said.  Anyway I am just glad the sign will be fixed, that is all I want. Lets see come Tuesday.

The new year is here and it has taken me a while to get back into the swing of things, not sure I have my mojo back though so I’m working on that. The year started off for me on a low. I wasn’t very motivated and was quite depressed actually. I felt very overwhelmed by the thought of a whole year ahead and I felt burnt out before I even started! I had some nice time away from the store but it still doesn’t compare to actually going away somewhere and having a total break from life.

So what does this year have in store for me? Well the shop has been doing really nicely which was unexpected for January. I want to focus a bit more on the shop and improving and updating the website. I met with Jodene’s website guy at the end of last year to discuss my options. During the meeting we also spoke about my blog and what relevance it held, if any, to the store.

I started off my blog initially as a friend Darren and I joked about one day how we would write books about our lives and how a blog would be a good place to start writing and would eventually be the foundation for content for our books. My initial concept for my blog was the write about my life which would include stories about what is is like to own and run my adult store, I then added posts about products in the store and now the blog is a bit of this and a bit of that. Website Guy helped me put a few things into perspective and I decided to remove the link to my blog from the business website and I also changed the blog title from Hustler Extreme Blog to Hustler Girl’s Blog. I will be keeping the business side of things seperate from my personal experiences.

I will be continuing my studies this year. I was a bit demotivated and felt overwhelmed when I received the 2011 registration books but after I went to register at the campus on Monday I felt much better and very excited. I have chosen another 4 subjects, 3 of which are year subjects so I will only have one exam mid year and the others will be at the end of the year. I have selected comparitive religious studies and the three social work subjects. Becasue I started my studies in the middle of the year I will be able to take on some second year semester subjects in the second part of this year if I want to, but I will see how I cope first.

I will also be going back to volunteer at the clinic on Saturdays however I have decided that I will probably go every second Saturday so that I dont burn out as I found last year I was juggling too many things.

There is lots to look forward to this year I just need to be able to embrace and enjoy the events as they unfold and ride the waves of life.

I cant believe the year is over! It has been a very long and challenging year. This will be the first December in a long time that I will not be working. I look forward to the time off so that I can recharge and reflect on the last year and prepare for the new year.

Wishing you all a very happy festive season. Catch you on the flip side

Last night Ponkie, his mom and I went to the Coca Cola Dome to go and watch the 94.7 Christmas Concert. We arrived just after 7pm after having a quick dinner at home. We got there as The Bala Brothers were finishing off their songs and just in time for Auriol Hays. I was so excited to hear Auriol perform live and she did such a brilliant job. The Dome was packed and there was a very nice atmosphere with everyone singing and candles burning.

I definately think the Highveld Radio have a good thing going with the Christmas Wish and it is incredible how many people out there have real problems and it helps put things into perspective and perhaps makes us more fortunate people appreciate what we have a little more. I know that I end up crying almost every time I hear the christmas wish, yesterday I couldnt even get out of my car when I arrived at a shopping mall as I was crying so much and had to compose myself. Last night at the Dome before they granted the big christmas wish when I just heard the wish theme music I was already teary eyed.

Auriol invited us backstage during the show. Her friend Alisha took us all over the show and made sure we had a drink and something to eat. I definately owe Auriol big time for the PR work she was doing on my behalf. Everytime she introduced me to someone she would say “This is my friend Kim and she owns a sex shop” . It was so funny. Never to miss an opportunity, I handed out some business cards Thaks Auriol!

We met Elvis Blue (swoon) ,The Bala Brothers and Lavuvuzela. We also met Mark Pilgrim, Bailey Schneider and Zane Derbyshire from Highveld Radio. Everyone was really sweet and they were happy to chat to us and have pictures with us.

For those of you that didnt make it to the concert this year make sure you come next year, the entrance fee goes towards making the big christmas wish possible and at the same time you get to enjoy the great entertainment.

Auriol Hays, Me and Andreas